Fire

آری، آری ، زندگی زیباست زندگی آتشگهی دیرنده پا برجاست گر بیفروزیش، رقص شعله اش در هر کران پیداست ورنه، خاموش است وخاموشی گناه ماست سیاوش کسرایی / / / / / Life is like fire, can burns forever. If we turn it on we can see flame dances from far away, other wise its dark and thats our fault.

کسی باور نميکنه که تنها دليل رفتنم دندونم باشه! خب حق دارند ملت

الان تصميم گيريش سخت تره، چون فکر کنم يه دندونم را بايد بکشم و لازم نباشه که کلی پول پاش بدم. ديروز هم يه نامه گرفتم که يه مقدار از پولش را بيمه ميده، اما فکر نکنم اگر جای ديگه

درست کنم بيمه قبول کنه

بازم خرج یه دندونم با پول بلیطم در می آد، می مونه پول دکتر و خوردو خوراک و خرج و مخارج اونجا. میدونم اگه برم کلی پول الکی خرج خواهم کرد، و دوست دارم هم که خرج کنم :d

دلم می خواد تلافی همه این مدتی که چیزهایی بوده که می خواستم بخرم و پول نداشتم رو در بیارم..

اما مسئله اينه که هنوزم پول ندارم،

If I go I'll end up spending the paychecks I'll suppose to get by the next 8 month!

and there is no point of going there If I don't want to spend money....


The thing is I can't convince my self to go another time, there would be no valid reason, my teeth is my valid reason for now!

and its so hard to just forget about the trip at this moment :)

I think I can afford spending my money till the next 8 months, its not that bad, as long as I live here......

And I know regardless how much I spend over there, I can't convince my self not to go to any store or grocery store or coffee shop for the next 8 month! I know I can't!


I know if I go I would spend as much money as I can with no restriction, because I don't know when would be the next time I might go there.....

so the equation is:

me staying here = spending money, fixing my teeth, maybe feeling funny that I spend that much only on one day and JUST giving it to a dentist

me going there = the money spends while (me staying here = fixing my teeth) + lots of other expenses (I would enjoy the fun things I do there and/or I would keep the things I would buy and enjoy them) But at least its a vacation, although I'm not sure how I would feel at the end of my trip, bored? happy that we moved out, or sad…
I don't have any love ones over there that I really want to see them, just 2-3 old friends and bunch of friends i haven't meet before!


Writing these lines made me realize all my problem is money? so if i can find a way to trade some thing in between.
Please let me know If you come up with some thing for trade market!